Can You Date Your High School Teacher After Graduation?
By secret-name , October 30, in The Lobby. I’ve been a member of this forum for a little while but have created this “secret-name” in an attempt to remain even more anonymous about this particularly sensitive subject. I’m dating a former undergrad professor.
Originally Answered: Could a professor date a former student, who moves colleges? If the student changes colleges just so that they can date the professor, then.
I have an academia related question for you. I graduated from a small liberal arts college in May I enjoyed my time there immensely. I was able to form some awesome relationships with my professors and some administrators most of whom were my bosses for part-time jobs or internship supervisors. Or do they just say that to make you feel better as you leave the comfort of the college bubble?
Question 2: If they do really want to keep in touch, what are some appropriate, non-awkward ways to do that? Is there some sort of script that could work in this situation?
#338: Keeping in touch with professors after graduation.
In some ways, sex between students and their professors is part of the mythology of academia. It turns up regularly in film and literature. The scenario typically involves a young female student seduced by her older and more knowledgeable teacher.
post-graduate including Higher Degree by Research). For example, dating, romantic, sexual etc. which is consensual. A staff member accepts a gift from a student, unless it is after all assessment is completed and not A professor arranged for private one-on-one sessions at their home with a student.
People often refer to a university degree as an exorbitantly-priced, glorified piece of paper. Naturally, many of those connections were borne out of my undergrad years and subsequent education. Professors are the key. Consider some professors you look up to; focus in on the ones who are intimately in touch with the field you want to break into. More than that, focus on the professors who are easy to talk to. The jovial, friendly, funny ones. I know you have some.
The reason you should not hesitate is that there is no graceful way to make a close connection to a professor after you have already graduated. College courses vary. In seminars, your professor will learn your name in the first week. In large lectures, the professor may never see your face unless you make an effort to put it right in front of them. Whatever the size or format of the course, get face time with the instructor as often as possible. Yep, even in seminars.
How to Stay in Touch With Your Professors After Graduation
A student and teacher have a relationship. This is one of the greatest fantasies that every high school student has. We all wondered sometimes about how it would be to date your teacher after high school, and is it legal.
But graduate students, who are in their late 20s or 30s, were previously permitted to date professors they did not work with or study under.
This may seem like a weird topic, but it happens more often than grad students might think: professors who get… a little too close. Graduate school is an unnatural environment, and you might find that some of your own habits and actions surprise you. You might date someone completely atypical or befriend someone who has a lot of growing up to do. Grad school can be an educational pressure cooker, where a small group of students work intimately for a couple of years under the direction of a few professors or advisers; it makes sense that some relationships become a little intense.
Some professors shield students from their personal lives entirely, with no mention of a partner, spouse or children. Others are just more open people in every aspect of their lives.
I dated my university professor – and it was a messy, eye-opening experience
Whether your colleagues consider this a serious ethical problem is addressed by Pete Clark’s answer. If I am single, I reserve the right to pick off a member of society to be my mate. The very notion that I must temporarily restrain myself from choosing such a relationship with the people whom I actively have direct authority over The idea that anyone is permanently blacklisted from being a potential candidate, just because I have ever encountered that person in a class which I taught, is way too unfairly exclusionary.
Such a requirement would be unethical. I remember a college class which was required for all students in the college. Would it be a sensible expectation that a college professor should be required to seek a mate from among the less educated, or from a remote town?
Looking back at my college years, one of the biggest mistakes I made was not Walk right up to your professor after the first day, extend your hand, and say, “Hi,.
Hey, college students! Unfortunately, you won’t hear much about the importance of networking in your college classes — and it’s not because you’re daydreaming during the professor’s lecture. It’s just that professional networking doesn’t really fit into an organic-chemistry syllabus or world-literature discussion. You’re familiar with social networks, right? You gain followers on Instagram and add friends on Snapchat.
Networking, in the professional sense, is similar in that you’re establishing connections with people typically in your field. These connections could be working professionals, experts, thought leaders, or even professors. The purpose of networking is to form relationships with those who’ll help get you to where you want to go, and the earlier you start building up your network, the better.
That’s why it’s important to start networking in college — before you’re even ready to enter the workforce. Although networking might seem like a bunch of small talk, the connections you establish could result in big post-graduation opportunities. As you build up your network, you’ll find that your connections are rooting for you. Typically, they won’t mind helping you because they’ve probably been where you are right now. So, if you’re looking for career guidance, industry insight, or internship leads, someone in your network can help you out.
Most importantly these connections could also play an integral role in helping you secure your first job out of college.
I Hooked Up With My Professor
The days of Princeton University professors dating graduate students in other departments are coming to an end , campus officials said. Professors had previously been permitted to have relationships with graduate students as long as they were not in their classes or under their supervision. So, for example, an English professor was allowed to date a Ph.
But, Princeton reconsidered the policy in the wake of the MeToo movement and nationwide calls for stricter guidelines to prevent professors from having too much power over graduate students, especially in personal relationships.
Yep I’d date my Mass Media professor and ceramic professor. Then, after graduation, she continued to haunt our department under the guise.
When I was a senior in college, I took this really difficult English literature class. The only good thing about it was that my year-old professor, Peter not his real name , was so hot. And smart. Yeah, he was pretty much the sexiest man ever. At first, I tried to keep my cool and stay away from him, since he graded my papers and all. But after a particularly flirty one-on-one meeting, I couldn’t hold back. So I asked him if he had time that night to discuss the grad program he’d completed He said yes!
I spent the rest of the afternoon in panic mode. I paced around my room for hours, trying on a thousand different outfits seriously and wondering if our “meeting” would end up just a meeting. It didn’t: Peter slept over that night. And the next night.
Dating professor after graduation
While relationships between students and professors aren’t unheard of, they can be a source for all kinds of problems. A professor is in a position of authority over a student, whether or not he or she is that student’s teacher or supervisor, which makes any dating arrangement tricky at best. Ultimately, if the two are consenting adults there’s no scenario where it’s OK for a high school teacher to date a current student , there’s not much anyone can do to prevent them from pursuing a romantic relationship.
But expect there to be consequences.
California teacher after graduation, and ninth grade. Consensual professor/student romances with students before they kept it doesn’t work in court on sex.
The answer to an ethics question sometimes becomes obvious when it is apparent that every argument on one side is either a logical fallacy, an unethical rationalization, or the application of an invalid ethics principle. Such is the case here, and thus I somewhat question the motives of the author of the post, Kelly Anders. Wishful thinking, perhaps? Asking the question creates the illusion that there is a real controversy.
I addressed this question a long time ago, in an early post here barely seen at the time but among the most frequently visited since. I wrote:. Dating a student is a professional breach of trust, and one that adversely effects the integrity of the entire educational institution…. A teacher always has superior power over any student by virtue of his or her position of authority, and it is an abuse of that power to use it to entice students into dates or bed….
Will the professor consciously or subconsciously be easier on the friends of his student lover if they are in his class? The fact that the question can be asked shows that the situation should not occur where it can be asked. Students, all students, must be off-limits as romantic partners for professors and administrators in universities, regardless of what rules are in place. Professors who date students risk their jobs because a student body is not their sexual smorgasbord, and it is a breach of trust and duty to treat it like one.
Nor is anything I wrote then revolutionary or new. These are the realities of authority, professionalism, leadership and power.
Can You Date Your RA, TA, Or Professor? Here’s How To Handle The Situation
Finally, the opportunity to teach your own syllabus and not have to worry about how to diplomatically deal with your student’s complaints that the lectures and readings are boring, out of date, and lack the intellectual frisson that you can bring to your chosen field of study. What does it mean to make the move from GSI and research assistant to assistant professor? No single summary can provide an adequate description of the variance to be found among different departments and the many different types of colleges and universities.
The paragraphs below are designed to give you a broad sense of what is expected of you as a tenure-track, junior faculty member. For more about the specifics of your field, talk to the faculty in your department and ask for the names of some recent PhDs from your department’s placement advisor. If there is a bias in what follows, it is towards smaller colleges and universities because in the smaller departments found in such institutions you are less likely to find peers who can advise you, and expectations based on your experience at Berkeley are likely to be less helpful as a guide.
If students don’t learn how to date while they’re in college, it only gets harder to build those skills after graduation.
With shows like Pretty Little Liars and Friends normalizing professor-student relationships, it isn’t quite clear whether or not these kinds of connections are actually ethically OK. Wondering if you can you date your RA, TA, or professor? This isn’t a question you should feel ashamed ask, especially if you spend a lot of quality time with them.
Between office hours, dorm meetings, and recitation, it’s perfectly natural to feel somewhat bonded to these authority figures. At the time, Fitz didn’t know Montgomery would become his high school English student, but he continued to pursue a relationship with her after he found out. Throughout both series, the inappropriate nature of these relationships is frowned upon, but not condemned. In real life, however, the consequences of engaging in a relationship with a student can carry more weight.
If an authority figure dates someone that is obligated to answer to them , the complex power dynamics at play are tough to navigate. For instance, if you date or hook up with your professor because you’re attracted to them, it’s possible that you subconsciously feel like you have to continue dating them or having a physical relationship for the sake of your grade, academic reputation, and even career. Additionally, there can be mega-consequences: “Authority figures can be suspended or fired, [be the subject of] lawsuits, media campaigns, [and] more MeToo articles,” Rubin says.
Beyond the fact that the romantic relationship could result in tainting the reputation of both people involved, there’s something even more grave to consider: If the student is younger than 17 years old, the relationship could be illegal in the eyes of the law. One campus that recently dealt with its own professor-student relationship controversy is New York University.
A faculty member allegedly had a relationship with a graduate student. On the University’s website , the school acknowledges that the power dynamics of these relationships can be imbalanced.